What If England Were A Club Team?

The Russian FA, still smarting from their team’s dismal showing at this year’s World Cup, have come up with a cunning plan to ensure it doesn’t happen again when they host the tournament in 2018.

They are considering buying out the contracts of their international players and entering a Team Russia in their domestic league in the season before the next World Cup.

It’ll be intriguing to see how such a side does, but would be even more interesting to determine how a Team England would fare out in the Premier League.

So we’ve taken all the scientific data available to us – last season’s Fantasy Football League stats – to evaluate how Roy Hodgson’s men would have done in England’s top flight last year. It’s obviously far from accurate, but makes interesting reading.

For example, the likes of Daniel Sturridge wouldn’t accrue as many points without assists from Luis Suarez, but then Liverpool’s points tally wouldn’t be as strong without him. Admittedly, it’s far from an exact science but is a useful indicator of where Team England are at at the moment.

Team England:
While this might not be England’s strongest team, it’s a typical XI that Roy Hodgson might choose, and most of the players played enough last season to gather a relevant amount of Fantasy Football points. Glen Johnson was preferred over the likes of John Stones due to the amount of games played last season.

Hart – 117
Johnson- 92
Jagielka – 104
Cahill – 147
Baines – 169
Henderson – 124
Wilshere – 76
Barkley – 112
Sterling – 132
Rooney – 190
Sturridge – 197
TOTAL – 1,460

Manchester City:
Despite strengthening in the summer, City side below would all be confident of being regular starters again this season.

Hart – 117
Kolarov – 116
Kompany – 105
Demichelis – 118
Zabaleta – 146
Yaya Toure – 246
Fernandinho – 105
Silva – 151
Nasri – 155
Aguero – 156
Dzeko – 157
Total – 1,572

Liverpool:
Daniel Agger has since departed, so it is hard to determine his points total for last season, so Sakho slots in in central defence. It would be difficult to see Liverpool accumulating as many points this season, with Suarez’s total of 295 unlikely to be equaled by his replacements.

Mignolet – 132
Johnson – 92
Skrtel – 137
Sakho– 45
Flanagan – 69
Gerrard – 205
Henderson – 124
Sterling – 132
Coutinho – 114
Sturridge – 197
Suarez – 295
Total – 1,542

Chelsea:
Chelsea’s points total is particularly difficult to calculate due to the departures of Fernando Torres and Demba Ba, and the fact that Juan Mata and Nemanja Matic only played half a season each. It’s fair to say their tally will increase significantly this year with the introduction of Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa.

Cech – 146
Ivanovic – 159
Terry – 172
Cahill – 147
Azpilicueta – 109
Lampard – 86
Ramires – 79
Oscar – 135
Hazard – 202
Willian – 82
Et’to – 101
Total – 1,418

Arsenal:
While Bacary Sagna has since departed for Man City, he totaled 133 points at right-back for the Gunners last term. Arsenal’s well-documented injury travails have contributed to a lower points total than if they were able to put out a regular starting XI.

Szczesny – 157
Sagna – 133
Mertesacker – 157
Koscielny – 155
Gibbs – 89
Arteta – 76
Wilshere – 76
Ramsey – 146
Ozil – 137
Cazorla – 128
Giroud – 187
Total – 1,441

Verdict:

So, there you have it: according to our highly scientific analysis (ahem) the current England team would have finished third in last season’s Premier League, well behind Manchester City and Liverpool and only slightly ahead of Chelsea and Arsenal.