10 Reasons Why We Hate International Football

Do you hate international football? We’re not that fond of it ourselves so we’ve put together a list of the reasons why it annoys us.

When One Of Your Players Get Injured
Liverpool fans will know this one all too well with Uncle Roy seemingly on a subconscious mission to injure all their best players but there’s nothing quite as bad than seeing one of your main men go down with a bad one in a nothing game against the likes of Kazakhstan.

International Break – Lack Of Club Football
You’ve just finished up a hard week at work; you’re looking forward to plonking yourself on the sofa all weekend with a few beers, watching football on the TV from one end of the day to the next; you remember it’s the international break; you remember you hate international football.

‘There Are No Easy Games In International Football’
Clichés are rife in football and we accept them as much as we accept Mario Balotelli is as mad as a box of frogs but the one that gets us the most is the line that, apparently, there are no easy games in international football.

Ya wha’? Tell that to the likes of San Marino, Andorra and Gibraltar’s opponents who regularly bag between 5-10 goals a game against them.

Sh*t Bands Playing In Stadiums
‘Do you know what would be a great idea? Let’s get a brass band in to gee up the crowd’, said absolutely no one of sane body and mind, ever!

If you need a band to get your supporters going, you’re not doing your job as a footballer properly, frankly.

Horrible Mismatches
Did you watch last night’s England v San Marino game? You did?! Well we have no further need to elaborate, really. Ninety minutes of attack versus defence as Wayne ‘World Class’ Rooney took on a bunch of plumbers and gigolos from the arse-end of Italy.

Half Empty Stadiums/ Terrible Atmospheres
The sight of a near-empty Aviva Stadium at kick-off in the ‘glamour tie’ between Ireland and Oman last month will linger long in the memory. If the Football Associations insist on playing nothing friendlies, can they at least arrange some decent opposition?

Adrian Chiles
Do we need to expand any further on this?

ITV
Without getting too personal, is there a worse channel for football coverage than ITV? Not only do we have to put up with Adrian Chiles and Ian Wright’s buffoonery but, instead of starting coverage at 7pm and building the atmosphere ahead of big games, they insist on showing us Emmerdale – down with that sort of thing!

‘This Is England’s Time’
The pre-tournament hype around England’s chances of winning a major tournament is always one of those baffling occurrences that enter love/hate territory.

We love the fallout from the inevitable failure and yet still can’t believe they’d convince themselves they were going to win it in the first place.

When Your Mrs finds Out
We’ve all been there. You use to International Break to get in the good books with your better half, suggesting stuff to do at the weekend while she thinks you’re the great fella for putting her before football.

Then she finds out England/Ireland are playing, you’re not that arsed with it and all hell breaks loose.