Funniest Football Christmas Gifts!

It’s almost Christmas. You’re hungover. Again. And you still have to get that all-elusive Christmas present for the football fan in your life.

Here’s more last-minute winners than Manchester United under Sir Alex Ferguson, along with some to avoid like Luis Suarez on his lunch break.

Aston Villa have fudged numerous problems this season, so this clotted cream bar would be perfect for a sweet-toothed villain. Please note the best before date – like Roy Keane it’ll only last a few months before it goes off.


This Arsenal Champions League jacket is perfect from July onwards. However, it must not be worn after February, until it can be dusted down again for Autumn. Repeat every year.


This Liverpool FC door stop is the perfect gift for Reds fans for just £15. There’s a Simon Mignolet version available for a fiver but it’s more of a door non-stopper, to be honest.


This backpack will allow you to carry Manchester City wherever you go – a bit like Sergio Aguero this season.

This novelty Tottenham hat is suitable for everyone up to the age of six. So basically anyone who was born since Spurs last won a trophy.

Not a huge seller amongst Chelsea or Spurs fans, we suspect.


Become a hit with the laydeez despite shouting racist abuse with this specially discounted John Terry face mask. Or immediately transform yourself into a 45-year-old with this Diego Costa version.


Like Glen Johnson, these cosy Liverpool slippers are equally comfortable on both feet but pretty useless for most of the year. Please visit this link directly, because if you Google “Liverpool slippers” loads of images of Steven Gerrard appear.


This Stoke City duvet cover only comes in single size. Although, let’s face it, if you’re interested in a Stoke City duvet cover you’re probably never gonna need a double bed.


Fancy buying something that has more Premier League goals for Sunderland than other inanimate objects like Jozy Altidore? The perfect gift for that annoying Liverpool fan in your life.


Speaking of the Black Cats, fancy showering yourself in money like a common Phil Bardsley in a casino? Got the sudden urge to splash the cash on loads of useless property like Paolo di Canio did during his short tenure as manager? Well then, this Sunderland Monopoly board game is your thang.

This season the words “Liverpool FC” and “beats” have rarely been seen in the same sentence. But now you can buy your own club studio headphones so you don’t have to listen to Reds fans claiming it’s gonna be their year.


If you really, really hate someone, we mean really hate them, get them this. Newcastle’s club shop also promises a massive January sale, where no doubt their best players will be offloaded at discount prices.

Scarf for sale, one previous owner. Contact Roberto in Milan for further details.

And finally, we recommend this Ashley Young Soccer Starz figure but make sure you wrap it well as it keeps falling over in the box.


Happy shopping and Happy Christmas