Football’s Hairstyle Hall Of Infamy
Mario Balotelli’s latest Liverpool-inspired hairdo has caused a bit of a stir amongst the metrosexual aspect of the footballing fraternity.
The Italian has been a bit of a trendsetter in his time but most leave you wondering if he’d been huffing on glue before calling his stylist.
There’s been a long line of these follicular nightmares over the years; here’s some of the most despicable:
One of the worst recent attempts has got to be Liverpool wonder boy, Raheem Sterling’s ‘Perm & Fade’ which can only be described as some kind of hair abomination. You’d like to think he just woke up like that one morning and wasn’t arsed fixing it but quite frankly, it appears quite a bit of effort has gone into this one – truly appalling.
Do you remember the time David Beckham had cornrows? No, me neither. More than likely because I’d probably expelled it from my mind after suffering such an atrocity on the senses. The infamous faux pas happened back in 2003, just around the time Beckham was struggling with his addiction to being a dope. He’s made up for it over the years for us to wholeheartedly forgive him, though.
A little known fact about Cesc Fabregas is that he starred in the Matthew McConaughey 90’s thriller ‘A Time To Kill’. The former Arsenal youngster played a crazed hick who assaulted Samuel L. Jackon’s daughter and was then shot and killed before trial.
That’s actually not true, obviously but going by that haircut, he would have easily fitted the part. To be fair to Cesc, the mullet did make a comeback around that time and he wasn’t the only one but a stylish kid from the cultured city of Barcelona should never succumb to such fashion disasters.
There comes a time in a man’s life when he needs to realise that all the stylish hairbands in the world can’t hide what’s going on up top. Gervinho hasn’t quite hit upon that moment just yet and whilst I have sympathy for any man with a head resembling the spaceship from ‘Flight Of The Navigator’, one wonders whether he’ll ever let go.
Some of you 80’s kids will remember the popular chant: “He’s got a pineapple on his head, he’s got a pineapple, on his head” regarding Nottingham Forest’s infamous striker, Jason Lee.
His infamy was two-pronged: 1. He wasn’t very good. 2. His hairdo resembled a giant pineapple residing on his noggin. Had he been banging in the goals left, right and centre for Forest at the time, no one would have cared but he was so bad, his hairstyle turned him into a bit of a parody.