Premier League Week Two in review

Premier League Week Two in review

Chelsea 1-1 Leicester
Jeremy Clarkson loves this season’s Chelsea more than any other Chelsea team since 1970. That includes the Jose Mourinho teams that won the Premier League by a mile. Interesting. I’m sure it has very little to do with Frank Lampard being in charge and being a great lad. Clarkson doesn’t like James Maddison’s haircut though. The Leicester player has been spending too much time in the barbers and not enough time training according to the 59 year old, famous for hosting a show about cars. Maddison responded with a similar follicle insult when there’s probably, I don’t know, one or two other things he could have responded with.


Sheffield United 1-0 Crystal Palace
Sheffield United’s Brexit & Ireland XI claimed their first Premier League win of the season.


Man City 2-2 Tottenham
Remember the Man City fan who left the Champions League quarter final early last season? Do you think he did it again on Saturday? “Oh there’s no way it’s going to happen again”

Aston Villa 1-2 Bournemouth
Jack Grealish has now gone 500 years without winning a Premier League match. Has Jeremy Clarkson seen his hair?

Southampton 1-2 Liverpool
Here are some examples of accidents waiting to happen.

Norwich 3-1 Newcastle
There must be optimistic Newcastle fans out there. In spite of the fact that Rafa Benitez, adopted son of Newcastle, left for China in the summer. In spite of the fact that Mike Ashley is still there despite wide spread reports of a takeover in the summer. In spite of the fact that Ashley and his Sports Directors hired Steve Bruce, actual son of Newcastle, to take over from Rafa. In spite of losing Ayoze Perez and Solomon Rondon in the transfer window. And in spite of starting the season with 2 defeats including a woeful 3-1 defeat to newly promoted Norwich. There must be some optimistic Newcastle fans out there right?

Wolves 1-1 Man Utd
Gary Neville was disgusted at the idea of Man Utd not having a designated penalty taker. It’s not like he was ever part of a team that didn’t have one. Right? No way at all.


P.S. Ruben Neves is really good at shooting from outside the box. That is all.