Roy Keane’s New Book – Exclusive Chapter Breakdown!

Whilst buying some cheese in Tesco’s in Burnage yesterday to apply to it to an ankle injury (on the advice of a bloke called Felix Magath), we were amazed to come across a copy of Roy Keane’s new tome – not due for release until Thursday.

We were apprehended so quickly we might as well have been Steven Caulker, but we did manage to rip out the page containing the chapter listings.

It was co-written by Roddy Doyle, so we are not surprised that some of the chapter titles are based on Doyle’s former books. We have a sneak preview at the entire chapter breakdown of “The Second Half”:

Chapter 1: Fifty Shades of Grey
Keane reveals his impressive beard-cultivating tips

Chapter 2: The Snapper
Keane revisits that tackle on Alfe Inge-Haaland

Chapter 3: Paddy Vieira, Ha Ha Ha
A humourous look at pre-match tunnel insults

Chapter 4: The Non-Commitments
A look at what happened in Saipan. Again.

Chapter 5: The Van Nistelrooy
A long list of United players that Keane didn’t get on with

Chapter 6: The Old Man & The “C” Word
Keane breaks the world record for usage of the word “c&*t” in one chapter

Chapter 7: The Man Who Walked Outdoors
Hilarious anecdotes about his walks around Cheshire with his dog Triggs (RIP)

Chapter 8: A Star Called Henry
About Keane’s bitter rivalry with Arsenal’s Invincibles

Chapter 9: Oh, Play That Thing!
Keano’s frustrations with the likes of Kieran Richardson and Darren Fletcher laid bare

Chapter 10: The Dead Republic
A look at Ireland under Steve “Stan” Staunton

Chapter 11: Pride & Prejudice
Keane reveals the two burning characteristics behind his successful career

Chapter 12: How to Win Friends & Influence People
A look at Keane’s furious on-pitch tirades at Premier League referees

Chapter 13: Great Expectations
Keane’s managerial career laid bare

Chapter 14: Catch-22
Keane chases a terrified United squad around their Carrington training ground

Chapter 15: Malice in Sunderland
His difficult relationship with Niall Quinn and Ellis Short

Chapter 16: Things Fall Apart
Life at Ipswich Town

Chapter 17: Dubliners
A bitter tirade against FAI blazers who preferred youth players from Ireland’s capital rather than the likes of Keane’s Cork

Chapter 18: Fight Club
Hilarious japes with Peter Schmeicel on pre-season tours

Chapter 19: The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
Keane discovers Ireland’s training gear hasn’t arrived in Saipan

Chapter 20: Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Kean’s criticism of Sir Alex Ferguson over a racehorse

Chapter 21: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Triggs causes an argument between Keane and a teenage neighbour

Chapter 22: The Hunger Games
A recollection of Old Trafford’s corporate menu including the ubiquitous prawn sandwiches

Chapter 23: One Hundred Years of Solitude
Keane’s hopes for the future