United Club Shop Finally Sell First Fellaini Shirt

Manchester United’s Megastore has confirmed that it sold its first Marouane Fellaini shirt last week, almost two years after the Belgian signed for the club.

The anonymous customer becomes only the second person to wear the Fellaini name on the back of his shirt, the first being Fellaini himself.

The bespoke shirt comes equipped with elbow pads and a marsupial-type pouch on the chest to capture long balls.

The sale continues an upturn in fortunes for the store, which also sold its first Young shirt in almost three years recently. However, a store assistant has conceded that there’s more chance “of Falcao staying” than they have of offloading a Jones shirt which has been hanging on a bargain rail for almost four years.

Man Gets Day Off Work For Birthday
Soccer - UEFA Champions League - Group B - Real Madrid v Liverpool - Santiago Bernabeu

A 34-year-old Liverpudlian has been unexpectedly given the day off work for his upcoming birthday.

However, rather than an act of kindness on behalf of his employers the birthday treat comes about as they just have no work for him.

Steven Gerrard, a professional footballer, had been required to report for duty for an FA Cup final on 30th May, the day he turns 35.

However, his employers had neglected the fact that they had to beat Aston Villa to progress. The situation resembles a much-criticised “zero hours” contract, but Gerrard will still be rewarded up to £30,000 for the day despite having nothing to do.

He is due to emigrate to America this summer, joining MLS side LA Galaxy who have won the title in three of the last four years – boosting Gerrard’s chances of finally winning a league title next season.

Calendar Suggests It’s Only Two Leeds Managers Until Christmas
Soccer - Sky Bet Championship - Wolverhampton Wanderers v  Leeds United - Molineux Stadium
A Yorkshireman’s quick perusal of his Top Gear 2015 calendar has confirmed that it’s only eight months, or two Leeds United managers, until Christmas.

The Leeds fan began using the average tenure of his club’s managers as a unit of time about three Leeds United managers ago.

The club, once managed by Don Revie for 13 years, have gone through a myriad of bosses since being taken over by Italian Massimo Cellino in January last year.

Despite leading them to Championship safety Neil Redfearn looks like the latest managerial casualty, with his assistant recently suspended and six players pulling out of their squad at the weekend under spurious circumstances.

However, should Redfearn be sacked he might bizarrely take over from himself – at least in the short term – having been appointed Caretaker Manager when three of the last four managers were fired.