Things Man Utd Could Have Spent Alexis Sanchez Wages On
We can all agree that Alexis Sanchez move to Man Utd from Arsenal has been a disaster.
Although he didn’t cost an actual transfer fee because he was swapped with Henrikh Mkhitaryan, he has cost them a staggering amount of wages with little return. So we thought we’d have a look at some things Man Utd could have spent that eye watering £26m on instead.
If SpyGate has taught us anything it’s that someone is always watching! Leeds are on the verge of promotion and spying on opposing training sessions could become the new trend if Marcelo Bielsa’s team return to the Premier League.
United could buy their own island off the coast of Florida with enough money left over to build a state of the art training facility. Let’s see Bielsa spy then!
25,000kg Of Kopi Luwak
Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world which can cost up to $100 for one single cup.
While the excitement levels have improved under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer life under his predecessor, Jose Mourinho, was a non-stop snoozefest. United could have treated their fans to over 325,000 cups of Kopi Luwak to keep fans awake and alert.
25 Orca Whales
There isn’t much you can do with 25 enormous Orca Whales. There’s not much you can do with one, never mind 25. In fact the only thing that you could or should do is recreate the climactic scene from Free Willy with each member of the Man Utd squad!
These days the hierarchy of Old Trafford are more concerned with clicks and engagement than they are with efforts on the field and think about it, If you saw a link to watching Jesse Lingard potentially being crushed by his own Orca Whale you’d click on it wouldn’t you?
1,000 Acres On The Moon.
So buying the entire moon would cost you 281 Billion which is a lot more than Man Utd have paid Alexis Sanchez but for the amount of money they have given him they could have bought 1,000 acres of good, solid moon land.
Think of the joy the top brass at Old Trafford would feel as they announce to the world that Manchester United are the first football club to own land on the moon!